3rd day in Hongkong Realization.

I went to Hongkong to get away from everything. To forget about everything that happened the past couple of weeks. I thought that going to HK would've been liberating for me, facing the what could've been, without him, and enjoying it without him. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed this trip very much (with my mother and brother), but every now and then, I have been faced with the reminders of what the hell happened to me and him. And it makes me so sad and disappointed.

Not to dwell on it, but maybe going to HK made me realize that maybe all along, I was just attempting to go with the flow, and I am not really trying to move on at all. Maybe that's why I am still hung up on everything's that's happened. So I think it's about time I exert a wee bit more effort on it.

And I need to pray more.
These relapses have got to stop. NOW.

Edit / Add on:
Technically, today is the 4th day in HK, but I just have to share some more thoughts. I woke up this morning feeling slightly still imbalanced by all the feelings and thoughts that rush out. But instead of pondering on these thoughts and feelings, I opened my book - EAT PRAY LOVE, and in chapter 56 - Liz Gilbert talked about Vispassana.

Vispassana is a meditation technique where basically what you do is meditate, just sit, and you're not even allowed to move an inch, even if it means trying to get out of an uncomfortable position.

So Liz was trying this new meditiation out while she's in India. She decides, ok, why not try it out at dusk. Just as she was just into her meditation, she starts getting bitten by mosquitos. She asks herself, was this the right time to even attempt vispassana? But then, she later realizes, when is it actually a good time to go through the discomforts of life, similar to what she's experiencing at that moment)?

Further, she shares that what if we just sit through an hour of this discomfort? If we can sit through this hour, then what other discomforts can we go through as well? What about emotional discomforts - probably the hardest to make your way through.

So Liz successfully sits through an hour of stillness, and after which, assessess the damage - received 20 mosquito bites, but eventually they disappear. I guess Liz's point is that, all these discomforts we go through in life, they're temporary. Sit through it, feel the pain until it eventually is just some sensation. And later on you'd realize that it's over. All these pain, it'll eventually go away.