Examining one's self

I was listening to the homily during this week's Sunday mass and the topic was about examining one's self. It was really interesting because the priest told a story about (ok, I missed the first part - not listening attentively).. something about... this guy, had to do something... then due to events that happened, he ended up in this house where he had to spend the night. He was pissed off because he was supposed to be somewhere else. But in that house, there he saw a library, picked up some books and read, and read, and this eventually became the reason why he was converted into a devout Catholic and became a priest (basta something to this extent) or maybe a saint perhaps? Can't remember.

For me though, the point is, there are events in our life, might even be bad events, that will change the course of our lives forever. These are turning point in our lives that force us to re-examine ourselves.

I think this is one of those years for me. I know it's a repeating topic for me how things have changed for me this year. But I just can't get over the fact that everything's so different now. Everything's different in my personal life, and everything's different in my career as well! My work now is doing pretty great. Because of a stupid thing I did (which is partly an aftermath of the "event"), our work schedule have actually improved! And look, our project's on the go and I'm back here in Vancouver. Time here in Vancouver is a blessing in disguise. I have more time just for myself, to again - re examine things.

All these things that have been happening, reminds me of a quote from Eat, Pray, Love:

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

I think I have an idea. haha

Anyways...

And here I am right, examining myself. I've been thinking about the things I need to do before I jump into another relationship. I've also been thinking about what were the bad things I did before, and how should I change those. So much lessons learned and I feel like I've grown older bigla. But I still need to make a lot of changes in me. Long way to go. But still very thankful of all blessings received.

For example, I now have to really think about what I really want to do with my life. I don't think I can sustain a relationship any longer if I keep on going back and forth to Canada and Manila. What do I really want? What's my priority now?

I can list a lot more here. And the list will go on and on and on... the important this is that we stop every now and then to re-examine ourselves. We need these as sanity checks. Are we still on the right track? How are we doing now? Have we prayed and said thank you for all the blessings? Have we changed our bad habits? Have we changed for the better?

But at least this is a start already right? The fact that I'm acknowledging my mistakes in the past, and trying to figure out what to do or change.

As a good friend once told me...

"We're both still works-in-progress. And I'm happy that you've gone so far. Everyone needs a little help once in a while. I'm just an email/text away. "

We're all works-in-progress. We become works-in-progress because we want to improve ourselves. And in order to improve ourself, we need to examine our self. :)