Article: The Line Between Giving Up and Acceptance

Here's an interesting article I chanced upon early this morning. The title pretty much says it all: The Line Between Giving Up and Acceptance

Here's a two paragraph excerpt that pretty much sums up the whole article.

It became clear to me when I was recently talking with a friend who was agonizing over what to do about a two-year relationship she was in that was laced with conflict and overall pain. She voiced the elevated mantra that so many of us live by as she was debating on what to do next. She said, “I just think that this is worth fighting for, and that if we really love each other it will all work out in the end.” It kind of sounds like those Idol wannabes who think their singing careers are warpaths to be fought rather than elegance to be revealed. It sounds so noble; how can you argue with that kind of fierce desire and commitment?

Well never fear, I found a way. I looked at her with total clarity in my eyes and said, “There comes a point in life when what we are pursuing stops becoming an investment of our time and instead becomes a waste of our time. And it is our responsibility to figure out where that point is and do what needs to be done to change courses.” She looked at me kind of like someone who just saw a possum in the middle of the road with it’s big pink eyes staring in their headlights. You may not know what look I’m talking about, but it’s not a good one.

One may agree or disagree with the author's point. Me, coming from a somewhat similar situation, I can relate to it and I do slightly agree with it. But I think as women though, we are more inclined to be emotionally attached to the whole relationship. We are stronger, thus we attempt to make it work more so, than men. When a man says no, that's probably the end of it. When a woman says no, you can still work your way around to changing her mind. I may be wrong though.

Ultimately in the end, these things, it's always easier said than done. And if getting out of a stagnant and unhealthy relationship means getting hurt, maybe that's what we really have to experience first hand, head on. I did.

Stop fighting for them when all you’re doing is fighting. And start fighting for them when all you’re doing is waiting for the life you long for to magically land in your lap.

To be honest, I do miss being in a relationship at times. But I don't really see the need to get into one now. I meet new people. I can work on myself, prepare myself so that when the right one comes passing by, I will be ready this time around.

In the meantime, I can live my jetsetter life without having to worry about leaving someone behind over and over again. :) Planning to do some nice trips this year - East Coast Canada, Australia are my targets.

Looking forward to a good and fruitful 2011! Cheers!